The Rise of Ego-Scrolling: How Dating Apps Are Shaping Relationships

The landscape of online dating is continually evolving, and with it comes a new term that has gained traction: ego-scrolling. This phenomenon involves swiping through dating apps in search of validation, rather than achieving meaningful connections or relationships.

Katie Dissanayake, CEO of the dating app ‘After,’ defines ego-scrolling as the act of seeking proof of desirability rather than genuine interactions. She notes, ‘You’re not even looking for a date, or often a real conversation, you’re just looking for proof that you’re still desirable. It’s almost like window shopping for love without the intention to buy.’

Why Do People Engage in Ego-Scrolling?

The motivations for ego-scrolling are numerous and often tied to the loneliness epidemic affecting many, especially young adults. Dissanayake adds, ‘If you’re bored, anxious or feeling invisible, getting a match feels almost like a mini serotonin shot. And that becomes the goal.’

Moreover, instant social gratification plays a significant role. Jordan Pickell, a trauma and relationship therapist, emphasizes that ego-scrolling ‘lowers the stakes around rejection, loneliness, and the wanting to be desired.’ As such, users find themselves participating without the risk of emotional investment.

Mismatched Expectations and Dating Fatigue

Many individuals encounter frustration when engaging on dating apps, stemming from mismatched intentions. Dissanayake mentions that ghosting and miscommunication often occur when one party seeks genuine interaction while the other simply wants to feel good about themselves. ‘Remember that the other people on dating apps are real human beings with their own fears of rejection and feelings of loneliness,’ Pickell advises.

Recognizing the Need for Change

If users want to curtail their ego-scrolling habits, it’s essential to check in with themselves. Dissanayake encourages individuals to understand their needs and boundaries, stating, ‘Know your self-worth before you try to meet anybody else.’ Being aware of emotional responses during swiping can indicate whether it’s time for a break or a reassessment of one’s approach to dating.

Conclusion

The trend of ego-scrolling on dating apps reflects a broader societal issue concerning validation and connection in the digital age. Understanding this phenomenon is key to fostering healthier relationships and ensuring that dating becomes a more positive and fulfilling experience.