Understanding Love Through the Eyes of Jillian Turecki
In her latest book, “It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life,” Jillian Turecki, a renowned relationship coach and the host of the podcast “Jillian On Love,” delves into the essential skills and habits necessary for fostering long-term, healthy relationships.
The Personal Journey Behind the Insights
Turecki’s insights are deeply influenced by her own experiences. She reflects on her husband’s abandonment that sparked her quest to understand the core elements that make relationships succeed. She states, ‘It was the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me that this relationship failed … and so I became obsessed with this question of what makes a relationship work.’ This journey led her to explore the fundamental skills needed for relationship success.
Key Elements of a Successful Relationship
According to Turecki, two critical factors determine the health of a relationship: ‘who you choose, because I think selection is incredibly important, and then how you choose to show up.’ One poignant chapter of her book addresses common disillusionments among couples, positing, ‘lust is not the same thing as love. And I think that so many of us are conditioned from literature and movies to believe that.’
The Nature of Love vs. Lust
Turecki expounds on the challenges many face as they transition from the initial passion of a relationship into a deeper commitment. She emphasizes, ‘Loving someone is a selfless act … the best relationships are formed by two people who really give selflessly to each other. It’s about caring about the other person’s needs as much as your own. That’s love.’
Facing Modern Dating Challenges
In today’s dating landscape, Turecki recognizes the common pitfalls, including rejection. She advises, ‘It’s a law of the land that you cannot convince someone to love you. It is absolutely impossible … so you have to let people walk away if that’s what they want.’ This perspective encourages healthier views on love and personal worth.
Jillian Turecki emphasizes, ‘Another thing behind good couples is they’re not harping on the littlest things. Can you let it go and just move on with your day?’ Photo courtesy of Lex Merico.
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